Road Rage

Logan seems to have picked up some of my road rage, and these videos show he likes to express his anger with generous use of the word "bitch." According to our cuss word forensics unit, he likely picked up that phrase from Jenni. (I'm more partial to using terms like "fucking whore," but enough about my love life.)


I'm pretty sure that CSI: Profanity would conclude that he picked up using the word "bitch" from Jenni.

In fact, when it comes to vulgarities like this, I'd definitely... [removes sunglasses] swear that it's true. YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

EXHIBIT A: This video is Logan yelling at cars during our gridlocked commute to the Disneyland Holiday Party last Monday. The best part is him grumbling "bitches" under his breath at the end of the clip.

EXHIBIT B: So after I played back the video of Exhibit A to Logan, we did a Take 2. He was more self-conscious in this take and was definitely trying to entertain. One of my favorite parts of his improv is when he's at a loss for words and resorts to the catch-all phrase, "junk."

When he urges the cars not to spray their lights on us, he really means "shine" instead of "spray." He's referring to all the brake lights glaring in front of us. This leads to his best performance in the clip: his final line in the video delivered with sass and aplomb, "Spray your lights on yourself!" Someone get this kid an agent!

By the way, if you ever ride with Logan, he's become somewhat of a human GPS. He'll always ask what street you're on and what street you're crossing. Of course, if you tell him, he'll oftentimes insist you're wrong and that it's another street (or a "Bird," which he thinks is what "Blvd" says). Then, he'll go through the whole process again, but will ask in the voice of his blanket, Baby, or a stuffed animal. "That's not me asking. That's Simba. 'What street are we on???'" Zip it, Simba.